Programmer Who Made Everything Now Predicts the Next Big Language!

Tabloid: The Clickbait Headline Programming Language

DISCOVER HOW TO fibonacci WITH a, b, n

RUMOR HAS IT

WHAT IF n SMALLER THAN 1

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT b

LIES! RUMOR HAS IT

YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS b

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT

fibonacci OF b, a PLUS b, n MINUS 1

END OF STORY

END OF STORY

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EXPERTS CLAIM limit TO BE 10

YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'First 10 Fibonacci numbers'

EXPERTS CLAIM nothing TO BE fibonacci OF 0, 1, limit

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No output.

What?

Tabloid is a turing-complete programming language for writing programs in the style of clickbait news headlines.

Here are a few things the Top Five Most Popular Quirks and Features of the Tabloid programming language (Number Four Will Shock You!)

But why?

Didn't want to do homework for my database systems class, and needed something to do to procrastinate. Will I finish the homework? Did I get enough sleep?

Stay tuned to find out!

Does it actually work?

Yes. Tabloid is a fully functioning, Turing complete programming language with an interpreter written in JavaScript. Tabloid currently only supports numbers, strings, and booleans, but with these elements, you can write any program you'd want to write. You can edit and run the program above, or see how it works for yourself.

Besides this online interpreter, Tabloid now also has a mostly compatible implementation in Racket and a small library of helper functions ... for some reason.

Before making Tabloid, I also created a more useful and well-designed boring and unpopular programming language, called Ink.

How much is there?

Here's the full list of standard keywords that Tabloid currently uses: